I Got Me A Mothafuckin' Kimono!

But first I just gotta say: I got a little choked up during my last Bored Housewives Aerobics Class. Never again will I work out to the driving techno beats of 'Quinn The Eskimo', 'Jump (For My Love), and 'I Was Made For Loving You'. Never will I be the painfully inept gaijin akwardly trying to attempt Tae-bo kicks. And I will never hear my cheery aerobics instructor shriek out: 'GAMBATTE!!! AND FO AND TREE AND TOO AND Foooo.....'

So, Moving Day is this Thursday, so I've been saying goodbye to my favorite peeps and places in Kozu. On Monday, I kicked it with my posse,

Kyu-san,









Mori-san,








and Ryoko-san.










Kyu-san invited me over to make tako-yaki. Tako-yaki are these balls of dough, octopus, cabbage, ginger, and any other fun items you can think of (sausages, onions, needles...)








Even the machine is fun, with a little octopus imprinted on it.








We also had ginko nuts, which makes your brain twenty one times more powerful.










While I was there, I admired a beautiful orange and red kimono, which turned out to be mine! Mori-san's mom runs a secondhand kimono shop and this one looks to be a stylin' one from the sixties. Mori-san also knows how to put a kimono on, which is an elaborate process that requires at least two people. Traditionally, you're not supposed to wear anything underneath, but I kept my underwear and hairy legs on. They put an under kimono type thing and then cinch you up real tight. You're not suppose to eat anything beforehand or else you barf it out. I had had a bag of (Japanese) Doritos and I definitely felt them come up to the back of my throat.
Mori-san tied my obi into an elaborate knot, slipped on some weird white toe-socks and teeny little sandals to match my kimono. I looked in the mirror. I looked just like a springtime cherry blossom in Kyoto!









No I didn't. I looked like a Mexican scarecrow. My puny head sticking out of this beautiful kimono. This is a style reserved for a shorter, more curvaceous, more graceful woman. Movement is very limited. I think that back in the day, dudes liked their women to run around all dainty and shit. I was definitely taking teeny steps and moving slowly. You can't eat while you're wearing it, but you can go the bathroom and have sex in it. The Japanese have their priorities straight.
The girls decided it would be super fun to parade me around the apartment complex and showing me off to a couple teachers. I kinda hated the idea, but it had taken a loong time to put this thing on and I think they wanted to show off their efforts. Or laugh at me as I tried to play Sakura The Soically Retarded Geisha.











We knocked on a few doors, like it was Halloween. We took a couple pictures.









But I was relieved to get back to the apartment. There was tako-yaki to be had!

On Tuesday, I went to Tokyo, but that's a whole separate blog entry. Later. How about we discuss the debauchery that was my going-away party next!