Wait, wha?
Yes, a Japanese Chrstmas is more for the couples, who use the holiday as an excuse to sneak off to a themed love motel of their choice. How will you celebrate the birth of Christ? A 'Pirates of the Carribean' style adventure? Bondage Room? Or perhaps a playful Hello Kitty Boudoir?
It's New Year's Day that's the family holiday here. You spend the day with the family, eating a traditional meal called osechi, particular foods that help bring good luck throughout the year.
So, even though I'm away from friends and family at this time, I don't feel too bad. I'm not wandering the streets of Kozu dressed in rags, peering into family gatherings, and wiping away a single solitary tear.
I did make a little X-mas corner
and yes it does look quite pathetic. The Christmas cards are from some of the very sweet girl students, including this one with a comic.
Cute!
And no, those presents aren't dried fish that I wrapped myself in a fit of insanity. My man sent me presents so I had something to open on Christmas. That's why he's the best boyfriend in the world. (You know what? It's my blog and I can be as sugar-fucking-plum sweet as I wanna be).
And of course, there's a slew of Christmas, or rather Happy Old Year parties to attend. Co-workers gather together to eat, highlight the past year's memorable events, and get wasted. I wish I had a picture of the science teacher swishing around in a sparkly party hat and sash, or the PE teacher drunkenly swaying to the soothing sounds of 'Immigrant Song' at the karaoke bar. But alas, I left the camera at home.
Last night, I went to the Ladies Teachers' Party and that was a little more tame, although it was kinda weird hearing them reminisce about the weight gain and then look pointedly at me. I just smiled an idiotic gaijin smile and shoveled more yakisoba in my mouth. It's not like any of these women are obese or even overweight. One woman told me (in her broken English) that she was proud of her broad shoulders and chest. I hi-fived her and we both had second-helpings of fried rice.
(Later, I was told that it was a joke that the junior high teachers were in on. Okaaaay.)
BUT THEN! I went to the kindergarden principle's private party with Kyu-san and Mori-san.
It was hilarious.
They opened up the restaurant for the six older dudes and one waitress hovered about making sure everybody's drink was full. When we arrived, there was a loud cheer and more glasses brought out. Mori-san was made to sit between this dude
Kyu-san was seated there
and I was wedged in between two chain-smoking men with bad teeth and big smiles.
It was like I was a combination of escort/life of the party/geisha, which I think is how many Japanese women are viewed at in parties such as this one. That's certainly how hostess clubs work. And I felt weird, but seeing as the guys weren't trying to feel me up or anything, I decided to enjoy myself.
There was of course karaoke and seeing as this was the over-fifty crowd, I worked the room with classics such as 'Mandie' and 'Yesterday'. The dudes were all about it. One guy came up to do air guitar (with 'Mandie'? Aw, let a guy dream). The principal did drums with chopsticks and an empty water bottle. I got the waitress to sing 'Beat It' with me (she even had moves!)
and we all went nuts. I mean, these guys are grown men and they were running around like high schoolers,
accusing each other of being perverts or taking it in the butt.
Or making silly face. And this guy's a principal!
Their karaoke consisted mainly of Enka (a classic, 'country-style' genre that older Japanese go nuts over. It's pretty cheesy. Think 70s shlock).
There was also this bizarre English tune. I had no idea what it was about.
Whenever I'd be sitting down, I'd get a barrage of questions. Sometimes the waitress would try to help with a little translating and if they ever got inappropriate, she'd say, "Bye-bye!" and get up to serve someone else. She was cool like that. Kyu-san and Mori-san kept mouthing, "Daijobu? (No problem?)" and I'd raise my glass of sparkling apple wine and say "Kampai!".
I had a kickass time with these dudes, but I was exhausted from all the smiling and attempts at conversation. Some gaijin are employed as exotic hostesses. I couldn't possibly put up with this hostessing shit night after night and not all Japanese men are as cool as these guys. I walked home, mixed myself a Bloody Mary and called it a night.
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