by the aerobics instructor.
I went to check out the aerobics class at Kozu's community center with my friend, Ryoko-san. I thought it'd be a little like Blue Hair Special at the old folks home or something.
Nope. As soon as I walked in the door, the aerobics instructor greeted me with the biggest "HELLO! HOW ARE YOU?!" I'd ever received in my life. I had met her before at the Kozu clinic (I had something gross on my toe. Don't ask.) and she is one of the nurses there. Every time I see her, she's super nice, friendly, and energetic. Too bad I didn't know her name. Every time we get past the hello, how are yous, there'd be a nice awkward pause before we bow and scurryoff to do whatever.
We happily introduce each other, I promptly forget her name. Even now, I can't figure out if it's Konaki, Kunaku, Konaku. I've already asked her twice and Ryoko-san three times. God, I'm an ass.
For the sake of this blog, we'll call her Konaku. Konaku cranks up the music and goes to the front. The music: Western civilization's best bubblegum pop at 100 miles per hour, done by Japanese idols. Holy shit. I thought they were gonna wheel out a DanceDanceRevolution game and we'd all be puffing away, trying to get our steps right.
No, Konaku had other plans for us. I don't know if this woman sucks the manna from octopus or something, but I have never seen so much energy and cheer in such a tiny body. She was a combination drill sargeant, Japanese video game character, and schoolgirl all rolled into one.
She shouted out encouragement ('GAMBATTE!' hang in there), directions (MIGI! HIDARI! right, left), and plenty of unrecognizable words ('KIYAKU! GARUGA! MAZEL TOV!!). She kept the class of housewives and moms at a pace to match the high speed music. Celine Dion was on speed. Chirstina Aguilera on crack.
And our instructor never lost her energy, smile, schoolgirl pitch to her voice.
Then suddenly, the music was switched, the lights turned down low, and we lay down on mats. Konaku became a deep throated Yoga queen, lilting out various relaxation poses.
Five minutes later: "ARIGATO GOZYMAS!! OYASUMI NASAI!!!
So. Fucking. Awesome.
I can't wait to go back again.
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4 comments:
In Nagahama the housewives just chase loose bears around town for exercise. Sometimes monkeys.
Okay, now I know I'm a HUGE ass. Turns out the aerobics instructor's named KoWAku, not Konaku, which apparently means bean flour or something. Still, Konaku's a nice name. Maybe I'll name my daughter Bean Flour.
Son of a Bitch! It's KIWAKO! Kiwako. Stupid similar sounding Japanese names. I bet her name still means bean flour.
You are too funny. Cute blog. I'll be back.
MJ
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